Monthly Archives: February 2012

My Mom is Cooler Than Me

My entire family is populated with wildly different people, and boy are they talented. My father is the most hilarious professional photographer you have ever met. I seriously cannot remember a single conversation we have ever had that did not include a joke, and I have never seen him angry. My brother is perhaps theContinue Reading

Alarm Clock Ping Pong

Ugg. I am not a morning person. All you morning people make my head spin with confusion. Why would you possibly get up before eight o’clock if you weren’t forced to by some evil villain bent on ruling the world? When I wake up in the morning and see the light shining through the windows,Continue Reading

Prayer of Death

So I’m about to head out on my weekly round to the nursing homes, and I’m suddenly reminded of my first service I was a part of for a retirement community. One of our die-hard parishoners was leading the service, and she asked me to read the prayer she always read right after communion. ItContinue Reading

Bishop Ain’t No Fool

So yesterday was the first Sunday of Lent. I don’t know what it is, but the church is always packed on the first Sunday of Lent. People just seem to come out of the woodwork. The first Sunday of Lent is also the day that the entire diocese has to read the bishop’s appeal toContinue Reading

Health is Not a Virtue

Seriously. Yes, health is good. Health is fabulous. Feeling good is rather nice. But it is not a virtue. Now I’ll be the first to say, I love being healthy. In fact, my entire business centers around health. I live and breathe to help people lose weight, sleep better, have more energy, basically get theirContinue Reading

Boys in Trouble

Once an a while I get are real treat. I get to discipline boys. This is double the fun since I only have daughters. One of the things many homeschoolers do is co-op classes. We all go to each others homes and have classes for things we teach rather well. For example, I teach aContinue Reading

I Bit Off More Than I Can Chew…. Again

I do this every year. I have these great plans for Lent. I’m not just going to give up chocolate, heck no. I’m going to totally remake my life. I’m gonna be a new man. I’m going to put my entire life back in order in one fell swoop. Heck yea! I’m gonna man itContinue Reading

Catholic Face Painting

This evening our priest had to deal with a sudden emergency, so our deacon and I were asked to do a communion service with the distribution of ashes. I just love surprises, especially when I have no idea what the heck I am doing. Now I realize it’s not all that big a deal. The onlyContinue Reading

Mardi Gras!

Alright, so I fully realize that Mardi Gras, or Fat Tuesday, is not really a Catholic holiday per se, but let me be honest. Lent is a lot less scary when celebrating Mardi Gras. Yes, tomorrow I will be famished, and walk around with ashes on my forehead. My sudden enactment of resolutions will makeContinue Reading

Keys to the Kingdom

I’m a regular St. Peter. No, I’m not all that infallible, sadly, but I do now have the keys. Not to heaven of course, but to the church. Yes, I’ve had the keys to the church for a good long while, but it wasn’t common knowledge. Now as parishioners learn that I have the keys, I have foundContinue Reading