Category Archives: Family

My Mom is Cooler Than Me

My entire family is populated with wildly different people, and boy are they talented. My father is the most hilarious professional photographer you have ever met. I seriously cannot remember a single conversation we have ever had that did not include a joke, and I have never seen him angry. My brother is perhaps theContinue Reading

Alarm Clock Ping Pong

Ugg. I am not a morning person. All you morning people make my head spin with confusion. Why would you possibly get up before eight o’clock if you weren’t forced to by some evil villain bent on ruling the world? When I wake up in the morning and see the light shining through the windows,Continue Reading

Major General Cleaning Lady

Yes, I am a stay at home dad. Yes, I try to keep the house clean. I would even say I’m a bit fanatical about things being in order. I am not, however, a woman.  What I see What she sees So once a month, my normally beautiful wife simply gets fed up with theContinue Reading

Hide Your Children in the Closet

I’m not a doomsayer. I do not believe society is trucking at 150 miles an hour towards the nether world. I see so much good in the world, and I know that much of the evil that we see day to day is done not through malice, but through ignorance. So I would say thatContinue Reading

The Board of Fame

My desk is a regular menagerie of small knickknacks that my children have made or given me over the years. I have a little jar of gold my daughter bought me while on vacation, clay sculptures, fimo bears and an assortment of “best papa ever” statues and plaques. I just have a hard time getting rid of them, andContinue Reading

Lawns are Stupid

It’s not so much that I hate grass, I am rather indifferent to grass in general. It is very pleasant for a green, living carpet if that’s your kind of thing. What I truly dislike is yard work. I know what you are thinking. “Nobody likes yard work Dance, it’s just what has to beContinue Reading

Wet Noodle Dance

So I’m not sure if I did the right thing. I went and got my children an X-box for Christmas. You should know, we did not even have a TV for many years. I’m rather uncomfortable with the idiot box in general. It’s not so much that I can’t stand the degradation of common decency that isContinue Reading

The Sound of Music

Right now I am being blessed. If you walked into my house at this moment, you might not think it is so, but I assure you it is true. You see, my daughters are performing their mandatory half hour of musical jubilation. I am completely aware they do not feel jubilant about it, and to be honest,Continue Reading