Category Archives: Relationships

Valentine’s Day is for Suckers

I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Yes, I know that it has Catholic roots, but that is simply not enough to garner my interest. St Valentine was no lovey-dovey guy, so I see no reason for all the hubbub. Bah Humbug.

The way I see it, Valentine’s Day is nothing more then a marketing ploy perpetuated by Hallmark and the like. Love should be able to be capitalized on, and these guys have done it like pros. They take the genuine affections you are supposed to have for the one you love, and turn that into an obligation to buy chocolates in little heart shaped boxes that are twice as expensive as the chocolates inside.

The florists are just eating this up. This entire industry must hinge on the sad, duty filled men drudging in to fork out their hard earned cash on obligatory pansies that will wilt and be tossed in with old banana peels is a couple days time. It’s like I’m being put through the meat grinder every year.

This is ludicrous.

It gets sillier. Now we expect our kids to bring little treats to all their classmates full of enough candy to make their poor teachers go out of their minds as the sugar high reaches full tilt. “Be My Valentine!” these little treats say. Yea right, like we should be encouraging love interest in third graders. What nonsense.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a super romantic guy. I am totally in love with my wife, in a way over the top, skip my fishing trip kind of way. I mean I will do anything for her, just to make her smile. She wants wine at 11:30 at night? Then I guess it’s time to put on my shoes. She want’s to paint the kid’s room? No, she want’s me to paint the kid’s room, so off to the hardware store I go.

These are the proper valentines for a man to give. Inconvenience and the sweat from his brow. It is the cleaning of the bathroom after your daughter has been sick in there, or the cleaning out the fridge when that stuff in the back is just too smelly for a lady too touch. This is the gift of a man who is in love, not a bunch of wilting flowers and enough chocolates to grow her behind an extra inch in diameter. (But no honey, your behind still looks great in those pants, I promise.)

You get where I am going with this right?

If you have been brought flowers by your loving husband, know that he remembered Valentines Day. A kind coworker probably reminded him, and so he plopped down the twenty bucks to make sure he didn’t get into trouble.

But if by some chance that same man also drives ;the kids to practice because you have a headache, even though it’s at 7:00 in the morning on a Sat, then you know that he loves you, and them. If he gets up at the crack of dawn to fight all the wild beasts and bring you home the paycheck that pays your mortgage, know that he is committed to you. Who the heck decided that love was to be purchased?

Flowers and chocolate may be thoughtful, but self sacrifice is love. That kind of man deserves a twenty second kiss minimum every day to let him know you feel the same way.

/exit soapbox

Sigh, yes, I bought chocolate. The 60% cocoa Ghiradelli is her favorite, so I doubled the standard portion, and yes, there is dinner planned tonight. That kiss better be incoming.

Naked People

I have a confession to make. I love naked people. I must sincerely say, that there is no place on earth where I can see the glory of God then in the human form. I mean, most of us really look the same if you blur your eyes, a couple legs and arms, a head, a large trunk. When you really begin to look though, no two people look the same at all.

Nothing so shows the way God thinks as much as how these themes repeat, but never with the same performance. The quiet beauty of mankind is so pure, so lovely.

There are two places this is really apparent to me personally. First is babies and children. The cute little hands and feet of a baby, with every itsy bitsy little fingernails perfectly formed is for me a grand show of God’s providence. Those little hands will grow to be the hands that hold another child, and I am in wonder. As they get older, watching their bodies change is equally astounding. Watching my young daughters slowly develop into women holds me in rapt attention. Seeing the first strands of hair sprout from the face of a young man is like feeling my own manhood being reborn.

Men to are beautiful to look at too. I can never see a picture of Michelangelo’s David, or The Pieta without cocking my head, and pondering why man was made so.

But nothing hold my attention like the body of a woman. At some point in my genetic makeup, God set in me a love and a near worship of the gentle curves, the lush roundness, and the soft skin of a woman. Every flash of the skirt, turn of the ankle, dimple on her cheek holds my very being in it’s grasp.

This is why I hate Pornography.

While I can’t find the actual quote, this supposed quote from John Paul II really sums it up for me.

“The problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of a person, 
but that it shows far too little.”

Pornography is truly one of the great evils of our time. Yes, it has been around a long time, but not in the form or with the distribution it has now. It takes the true beauty of a man or woman and distorts it so out of whack as to remove it’s beauty. The same face and form is reduced to mere genitalia, with no other purpose than to spark my sexual nature.
When I look at my wife, it is her wholeness that pleases me most. I have memorized the birthmark on her thigh. I have counted the freckles on her face. I have seen both the grimace of pain from bearing my children as well as the laughter at their first steps. Her calling me is like the tinkling of bells, and her censure is the torrent of a storm.
So when my wife and I share the same bed, I know that we are made to fit one another. My emotions to hers, my body to hers, my spirit to hers. She is not merely genitalia.
As I look at other women, in them I see my wife, and I know that they are whole, they are real, and that beauty captivates me. I often wonder at their forms, do their husbands feel about her as I do about my dear wife? I smile as I hope so.
Then there is porn. There is no thought of the person at all, just a vague yet insatiable need, and a blinding emptiness. Yes men, I understand your desire and love for the feminine form, but honor that desire, that woman. Pornography is blind to the woman, and turns a whole person into an object. Porn does not show her family ties, her dreams, how much she disliked her third grade English teacher, how terrible she was at ice skating. A woman’s sexual nature is a beautiful and powerful thing to behold, but without “her”, it is an empty shell. Pornography takes a child of God, and turns her into a tool.

Equally devastating, it turns you into a tool as well, it robs both of you your humanity.

So keep away from all that junk. Next time you are walking down the street and you see a beautiful woman, just look at her, and say to yourself, “My goodness, Lord. You sure know what You are doing.” Then share a smile with Him, and offer thanks.
Or even better, introduce her to your parents, and just maybe, one day, you can take her home.