Ah, I remember the days when the weekend would come, and I would be so ecstatic. When I had a corporate job I worked hard, often 60-80 hours a week. I was permanently on call. I woke up early, and thought about little else other than wishing I was still in bed at home, but I gave it all I got. There was always one guiding light, one beacon of hope.
Friday would come eventually.
In working from home, so much of my time is my own. I never really kept a schedule, and after all that time in the office where every second was planned, it was a great blessing. I just loved being free and open. No more did I have to schedule in family time, time to work out, hobby time and slice and dice my day into oblivion. I was like a sailor on the open sea, love the scent of every salt laden breath.
I now have to keep a calendar, and my days are scheduled by the half hour again. It is a draining, sinking feeling, and though I’m twice as productive, I cannot help but feel I lost my boat somewhere in the wide open sea.
It’s for the best, I know. There was no way I could do all the things I have to do without really planning ahead. That does not however mean I have to like it.
Strangely, I thought I would have to prioritize, but I’ve run into a basic problem. Everything I do is very important to me, and part of my perceived mission in life. I can’t in good conscience do any of the tasks with which I am charged in a halfway manner. The kids have to be educated, the Church must be served, and I must keep my business afloat. It’s like saying, would you rather eat, or drink or breath this month? I don’t have a choice, all three must be done at the same time, and I can’t skimp on any of them.
Insert the dreaded calendar. I do have two great blessings in trying to make this work. First, homeschooling can be done at any time, any place. It is not uncommon for me to be making calls for work while my daughter is sitting at the desk next to me working on her Latin. No, I’m not as present as I’d like to be, but she really only needs so much help, so a quick point of the finger or a quick note, and she’s back on track. Multitasking at it’s best.
My business is much the same. I don’t really need a set schedule, I can schedule my work around my other responsibilities, so it pans out alright. Yes, I have to schedule everything, but I make it through.
(Okay, now enter sad music. Some tired, old, overbearing piano music would do nicely.)
But, (sniffle- sob) I no longer have a weekend.
I work seven days a week. Yes, my Saturdays are mostly church work, and I never do real work or school on Sundays, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going full bore.
This weekend it’s deacon formation classes all day Saturday starting at 8:30 am, and going till evening. (at which time I will sneak into whatever Mass I can get to, and then write up a blog or two for this site) Yes, on Sunday we will cut classes short at noon, but that makes no difference, because I have a 20 something group that meets at my house Sunday evening, and a talk to give a the youth group for a nearby parish. (Dangit, I just realized I still need to put together that talk.)
Nope, no weekend for me.
You know, I’ve never been on a cruise. What would I do with a week of nothing to do? I’d probably implode.
Don’t get me wrong, I would have it no other way. All that I invest my time in is important to me, and I wouldn’t change it. I love teaching my children, I love my business and the people I have the pleasure of working with, I love to share the faith and want to give all I have and am for Christ.
Once and a while though, I just wish I could forget it all and just go sit on the beach with a six pack of beer, a gallon of ice water, a 6 foot sub sandwich, my favorite penny whistle and watch the whole day just slide by.