I cried this weekend.
I wasn’t bawling or anything, I just got really teary eyed, and couldn’t help myself. I was just too affected.
This weekend, we had a Mass for a congregation of sisters. It was their 100th year Jubilee, and so was a very big deal. It was amazing to see so many women who have given up their lives to serve Christ, and Him alone. It was truly an awesome experience. To be honest though, I am a sensual being, and while I was intellectually touched by their service and commitment, their lack of habits did not pull at my heart strings.
I’m not saying I don’t honor and respect them, I do, and very much so. I’m just saying that fifty or sixty sisters in normal clothing honestly just look like the rest of the congregation, and so it did not have an emotional impact on me. In that way, it just felt normal. Had they been in habits that made their vows obvious to me, I might have felt differently, I’m not sure. I spent most of the time trying to figure out who was a sister, and who was not. I felt rather silly about it to be honest.
This was a big celebration however, and so our bishop took it upon himself to drive the five hours to our parish to preside.
Dangit, I cry every time the bishop comes. I’ve started remembering to bring a handkerchief.
It’s not so much that our bishop is a swell guy, though he is. It’s not because he holds a similar ideology to me either, which he does. I am the same way any time I get to go to an episcopal Mass, I just can’t help it. It’s not the man that so deeply effects me, it is his office.
The power of the apostles overwhelms me. When I stand in a Mass where the bishop is presiding, I feel so deeply connected that I cannot bear it. I cannot help but see the unbroken chain back to Christ Himself. As he proceeds into the sanctuary, crosier in hand, I can feel his shepherding power. As he blesses the altar, that connection is so tight in my mind, that it is simply overwhelming for me.
I know I should feel this way at every Eucharist, and I know that the fact that I don’t means I have work to do on my faith. But for now, I am content to stand next to my apostle. I admit it, I’m a cheesy guy. But I’m not alone.
“In like manner let everyone respect the deacons as they would respect Jesus Christ, and just as they respect the bishop as a type of the Father, and the presbyters as the council of God and college of the apostles. Without these, it cannot be called a Church. I am confident that you accept this, for I have received the exemplar of your love and have it with me in the person of your bishop. His very demeanor is a great lesson and his meekness is his strength. I believe that even the godless do respect him” (St. Ignatius of Antioch, Letter to the Trallians 3:1-2 [A. D. 110])