My pastor, though he often seems wise, on occasion does a foolish thing. Like giving me the homily for Pentecost. To make matters worse, it will of course be recorded as we are all staying at home, so my normal slips of the tongue will be saved for all posterity. I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up as a bad preaching meme on Facebook.
On one side, I’m grateful for the trust, and I hope not to fail my Lord, the Holy Spirit. On the other hand, I know I am not up to the task, especially as in work I am gearing up with all the stuff for the graduation of my students, which is a disjointed affair in this time of pandemic. I only hope that in the end, the Holy Spirit I am called to preach on will help me know what to say about Him.
Here’s what I got so far:
Jesus, Mary, Joseph. (I always start with that, hoping they’ll help me out.)
Come Holy Spirit. (My prayer as my mind draws a blank.)
(A list of possible topics, none of which are making me write:)
- Gifts of the Holy Spirit
- Fruits of the Holy Spirit
- Fire, Wind and Water, symbols of destruction?
- Love between the Father and the Son and other symbols of the Trinity
- Catechism walk through
As you can see, I’m not getting anywhere with this. This happens every time I sit and write a homily. I would honestly have an easier time just walking up to the podium and talking, that works out pretty decent most of the time. The trouble is, it feels as if I am not giving God and His people their due, He and they deserve the best I can give, and I would feel cheap if I didn’t actually spend time really working it out.
So instead, I sit and stare at the screen, until I get mad, or distracted enough to write a blog post. So here I am. Distracted.
I wish I could say this was part of the process. Instead, I think it is just part of the penance. I love giving homilies, I am honored to be able to speak for the Lord, and I am deeply thankful of His trust. I’m just not nearly as good at it as I wish I were.
It’s now hours since I wrote this, and I haven’t got one more line on my homily. I’ve been off at meetings, organized my photo library, updated my computer and washed the cat. Okay, I didn’t wash the cat, but I did take a shower myself as I did smell like an animal. But no more homily.
I’ll tell you what, when I get it done, I’ll post it for your review. You’ll have to let me know if this wacky process paid out in the end or not!